This is an urban myth I’ve always had an issue with. We see this in crime dramas, mystery movies, and hear it in word of mouth tails all of the time. There is always some story about a child victim growing up to become the predator. Does that really make sense? In my experience, most children come to abhor the tragedies they endured, and strive to ensure that no other child has to endure it. As someone who endured childhood violence, I am against all violence toward children. I cannot imagine others who have gone through worse than I did feeling any different.
While skimming through facebook a while ago, I found an interesting link. This is a story on Upworthy about a man named Dean Trippe. Trippe told his story through one of my favorite mediums…comic art. This particular section is very moving, very powerful. Toward the end of the article there is a link to the rest of Trippe’s artwork/story.
Not only does he have a very powerful story, Trippe also shows that the idea of child victims growing up to be adult predators is ridiculous. The main causal factor in most child molestation cases is attraction. The second most common causal factor is power.
We live in a society that likes to place blame. Unfortunately that blame is nearly always misplaced. The concept of blaming children for having their innocence ripped away from them, their entire life changed from what might have been a dream into what is definitely a nightmare, feeling the horrors and shame of adulthood long before those burdens should even have meaning to them…is unthinkable. These children need to be loved, they need to be understood, they need to be accepted, not just as victims of abuse, or someone who survived, but as people. Most of all, this love and acceptance should not stop just because they stop being children. A person does not change who they are, and who they love just because they’ve reached a specific age. This “cycle of abuse” nonsense is just that…nonsense. The people you love do not become monsters as adult just because someone hurt them years ago.